


Constellations

by maramarlowe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Again there's an age gap, Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Aussie Aussie Aussi Oi Oi Oi, Australia, Blow Jobs, Lee Felix & Yang Jeongin | I.N are Best Friends, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, M/M, Mesmerized Chan, Mr. Bang, Single Parent Bang Chan, Smut, Talkative Felix, college student felix, jeongin is chan's son, legal sex, not too big though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 08:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26349739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maramarlowe/pseuds/maramarlowe
Summary: Chan is excited when his son, Jeongin, asks if they can move to Australia so he can go to college there. What he's not excited about is Jeongin's new best friend, Felix, who is becoming increasingly irresistible.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 16
Kudos: 249





	Constellations

Chan was thrilled when Jeongin had nervously admitted to him where he wanted to go to college while they were sitting at the kitchen table, eating toast.

He'd already gathered that Jeongin was nervous, as instead of just biting into it, he was ripping it into little pieces, chewing on those one at a time. It was a habit of his whenever he had to tell Chan something that he thought he'd be disappointed to hear; "*I did badly on my math test and failed it,*" or maybe "*I have a project due tomorrow that I haven't bought the supplies for yet- can we get them tonight?*"

But when Jeongin finally spoke, just asking a simple, "Dad, can I tell you something?" Chan tried to be as welcoming as possible, proud that his son told him everything, even when he knew Chan would be disappointed in him.

So Chan easily said, "of course," and meant it.

Jeongin gulped. "You see, it's about college," he began, breaking to rip up more toast and place it into his mouth, chewing slowly to stall.

Chan's brows furrowed. "What? Are you worried you won't get in somewhere good? Did you already get results?"

He was aware they hadn't taken their final exam yet, but that didn't mean Jeongin wasn't already looking into many different colleges. Jeongin had pretty good grades, so he thankfully had plenty of options.

Jeongin shook his head. "No, it's not any of that. It's just...the location."

Chan frowned. "Is the place you want to go too far? Like in Seoul or something? Because you don't have to live at home, we can find you an apartment somewhere closer; that's okay."

He wanted his son to know that money wouldn't be a worry, even if he needed to rent a small apartment closer to college. Chan just wanted his son to do well and focus on his education, not worry about the things he'd already considered and acted upon as a father.

Again, Jeongin shook his head. He mumbled something under his breath.

Chan leaned over the table, even moving the orange juice bottle out of the way. "I didn't even slightly hear that."

Quickly, Jeongin admitted his worries, rushing through the whole sentence, "the college I really want to go to is in Australia."

Chan's eyebrows shot up, and he could feel his chapped lips part. "Australia?" He repeated, shocked to hear Jeongin say the name of his home country. Of course, Chan was a proud Australian, and Jeongin knew that, but it hadn't crossed his mind to return in years. He and his son had made a life in South Korea, one that they were both happy with.

Jeongin nodded. "I mean, if you would be okay with me applying. I just really want to go to see it- you always say you have such happy memories of Australia. I want to have fond memories there too."

Chan nodded, though he wasn't sure why he was. His mind was racing, filtering through decade-old memories of his home country and the friends and family he had there, and also projecting imagery of his son and him living there, days in the sun with work on their laps: Chan with his laptop, Jeongin with a textbook.

"Are you sure?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer he'd give his son. "It's far from home."

Jeongin smiled lightly, and Chan noticed the toast crumbs sticking to his lips. "It's your home, so I'm absolutely sure."

And Chan gave his son a simple thumbs up as an answer in the moment, but after that, they had both excitedly prepared for the move.

Even when they had boarded the plane, all of their needed belongings already shipped to the new address, Chan didn't feel any nervousness. Instead, he felt an excitement bubbling through him, his hopes for their futures high and bright.

This excitement lasted for a while, Chan happily working from home, spending hours on his laptop until he heard Jeongin slam his textbook shut and announce he was ready for dinner. Only then would Chan quit working, abandoning the entangled music files until the next day so he could return to them with a different attitude.

Even in the weeks that this routine continued unwaveringly, Chan had only felt happiness unlike any feeling he'd ever been consumed by while living in Korea.

That was until that morning, when he heard the patter of footsteps that definitely weren't Jeongin's enter the kitchen, where he was flipping pancakes in just his pajama pants.

His stomach dropped, nervous filling the empty space as he worried about being indecent in front of their guest. It was Jeongin's best friend, who he'd met the first day at university and had immediately clicked with.

Lee Felix was a small boy, an observation that Chan had first allowed himself to make assumptions from, but after Felix introduced himself to Chan for the first time, the man decided to never assume anything about the boy again. His voice was deep, a rich summer soil compared to his delicate, snowy appearance.

From then on, the boy continued to surprise him in many ways. How his voice raised several pitches when he was happy or excited, a stunning contrast to the deep tone he could also talk in. How he had mounds of freckles buried beneath the pale foundation that brightened his eyes. Or even just his personality- which became clingier just like pink bubble gum the longer Felix was around Jeongin and grew closer to him.

Sometimes, he'd hear shouting from Jeongin's room while the two talked and played games on the gaming laptop Felix brought over, Jeongin sometimes using Chan's laptop after acquiring it with irrefutable puppy-dog eyes.

The shouting often startled him, Chan finding himself flinching at his desk. It was weird to hear his usually timid child shouting gleefully, or even angrily, when they played games. Felix's shouts surprised him at first too, since the boy had been so shy while introducing himself to Chan.

But now, he addressed Chan easily. "Good morning, ahujussi," he yawned, switching easily between his native English and the Korean he'd begun to learn from Jeongin.

Chan cleared his throat. "No need to call me 'ahjussi,' just Mr. Bang is fine." Not only did "ahjussi" make Chan feel old, but he actually enjoyed talking in English with Felix. The boy had such a thick accent that it was helping Chan gain his back. It had become a fear of his a few years after the move to Korea that he'd lose his Australian accent. After his son was born though, he forgot about that concern and focused instead on new-born worries.

He had ended up losing his accent.

Chan turned back around, pretending to take interest in the pancakes when he was really trying to formulate a stealthy plan to get his shirt from where it was hanging on the back of the chair.

He hadn't expected either of them to wake up early. Especially Felix, who could easily sleep in until noon.

Jeongin liked to sleep in, but he normally dragged himself out of bed in time to eat breakfast with his dad. Chan at least didn't mind conquering a mountain of pancakes with his son. With Felix though, it was awkward.

That's why, when Felix walked further into the kitchen, Chan's hand instinctively rose to cover his bare chest. He could feel goosebumps prickle across the back of his neck.

Felix stepped to the other side of the kitchen though, opening a cupboard to pull out a glass and run it under the tap water.

As Felix gulped down his glass of water, Chan turned back to the long griddle he’d been making the pancakes on, feeling better about his bare back facing the younger male than his chest. He was still trying to find a way to get his shirt off of the back of the chair without being obvious enough to create an awkwardness.

Suddenly, Felix was standing beside him, his warm breath splaying across the skin of his arm like a gentle touch. Chan shivered.

If Felix noticed, he showed no signs of it. Instead, he continued to ramble, his topic of interest now focused on pancakes. “Oh wow, you make these really well. I always manage to mess my pancakes up, even after so many years of making them.” Felix shook his head, clearly caught up in thinking about his many failed pancake attempts. “My roommate Seungmin told me that I add too much butter. Do you think that’s a bad thing? I feel like too much butter is good. It makes them a little crunchy around the edges, and then it’s like they just melt in your mouth.”

Chan stuttered, “uh, yeah, those are good too.” In his mind, he kept replaying the way Felix said “butter.” It was more vowel than anything, his deep morning voice dragging the final letter so he pronounced it as “budt-ah.” Chan had never had such a deep accent himself, and he would be lying if he said that it was the reason he obsessed over each word Felix pronounced so thickly.

Felix hummed, not seeming to mind at all that Chan was basically socially inept. “Yours are perfectly fluffy though,” he complimented. Just as Chan glanced over to quietly thank him though, Felix’s eyes widened, his pupils suddenly dialating and his lips widening into a full smile. “Have you ever seen pancake art? Like, how people use pancake mix to make little portraits of characters and stuff? It’s so cool! I mean, I would never even attempt it because I’d absolutely ruin the characters- I’m seriously no good at drawing- but like, I saw someone make a pancake Elsa once and it was so cool.”

Chan nearly felt his head spin. “I’ve never seen pancake art before,” he admitted.

Somehow, Felix’s eyes only grew wider. “Oh, now I’m totally going to have to find the video of pancake Elsa to show you. The video is, like, life-changing. You’ll never feel the same about pancakes again, I swear.”

The older male nodded. “I’ll take your word for it then.” As he said this, he used the spatula to scoop up the final few pancakes altogether, depositing them on top of the mound he’d already built on a glass plate. “Felix, how about you go wake Jeongin up? The pancakes are all ready,” he informed, turning the knob on the griddle back to its starting place and unplugging the withered black cord.

“Already?” Felix asked, voice losing the excitement it had just failed to contain.

Chan glanced over, shocked at the transformation, and found a pout upon Felix’s lips, his eyes downcasted. “Is something wrong?” He asked, confused. Was Felix feeling particularly hungry? Did he not make enough pancakes for them? He glanced at the pile again, still feeling like it was a pretty good amount.

Felix shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I just had another question to ask you.”

Chan gave Felix his full attention. “Then go ahead and ask. What’s up?” He could already feel his voice begin to stiffen, eyes narrowed in on Felix, who suddenly was acting shy. Already, the gears in his head were beginning to churn so that his dad-mode was activated. If Felix needed some fatherly wisdom, he supposed he could try his best to provide it.

Felix licked his lips. “Could we maybe go somewhere more private? I don’t want Jeongin to hear, in case he’s awake.” He stopped to roll his lips, blinking a couple of times. “Uh, I don’t really share my insecurities with him.”

Chan nodded, supposing that their friendship was still fresh. Also, Jeongin wasn’t always the best at expressing his feelings, still in the phase of resisting large amounts of affection. That, Felix had plenty of. The boy radiated passion as bright as the sun, a contrast to Jeongin’s more quiet tendencies, shadowing his affection and showing it in rare moments of light.

So he led Felix down the hall, into the only other available room, which was his studio that mixed with a bedroom, although the only thing that dubbed it as his bedroom was the bed shoved messily into the corner. Looking at his room and the state of disarray it was in, Chan scrunched his nose. This probably wasn’t a very good example.

Felix didn’t seem to mind though, easily walking in to sit on the corner of the bed.

Chan followed suit, turning his desk chair so that it faced the bed and sliding into it.

He waited a few moments, in which Felix stared down at his knees, mustering the courage to ask his question. Chan didn’t rush him, even though he was dying to know what Felix was thinking about so deeply. He liked to be prepared to give advice. Chan wasn’t good with just suddenly needing to dish it out. He needed to chew at it slowly, gathering all the flavors he could so that he could present a nice, fulfilling dish.

Felix looked up, jaw set, warning Chan that he was ready. Before he could back out of it, Felix just blurted out, “Mr. Bang, do you like my freckles?”

When Chan’s brows furrowed, Felix kept going. “It’s just- uh, just that you’ve never really seen me without make-up before! I was really wondering if I looked okay without it. You see, my peers always tell me that I look better with the make-up covering my freckles. I guess I just wanted to know if you agreed with them. I- I’ve been thinking about wearing less make-up and guess I wanted to know what you thought.” 

Chan blinked owlishly, pondering how to quell Felix’s worries. “Well, I think you look perfectly fine without make-up.” He felt his forehead crease as he attempted to coax a better answer than that out of his brain. “It’s all up to you. Your freckles are a part of you, certainly since you’re Aussie and spend so much time in the sun, but the make-up does give you a chance to find more confidence, I suppose, if you think it makes you look better.” He turned his lips. “You look nice either way Felix, so just choose whichever makes you feel happier.”

With a grin so wide that it nearly split his face in half, Felix shot up off the edge of the bed. "Ah, Mr. Bang, thank you. Seriously, thank you. That is so nice of you to say. Really."

Chan was about to brush off the compliment, saying it was no problem, but Felix launched into another one of his many tangents, and Chan closed his mouth, intent on listening. He could tell that Felix sincerely appreciated it when others listened, so he would do that and then offer the best feedback he could muster up.

"You see, there's like, this cluster of freckles, on my neck, that looks like a constellation. Like the ones that you see done in minimalist tattoos or on simple little depictions of them. Not anything overly impressive, but still, like, so cool. So I think it would be cool to leave them uncovered, you know? Like, still wear make-up on my face, but just leave it off of my neck, so everyone can see the constellation freckles if they're looking."

Chan nodded, eyes still following where Felix had been pacing while he talked, somehow ending close enough in his zig-zag that Chan could make out some of the said freckles on his neck, peeking out of the collar of his t-shirt.

"I guess it feels like the sun gave me this little tiny galaxy to show the world. Like it just chose me and said, 'hey, you would look super cool and unique if I gave you this constellation of freckles, so here ya go.' And then bam, I have this feature that is unlike anyone else's. Totally unique, totally me. Does that make sense?"

Finally, he looked at Chan, who was just staring at him. 

Felix felt a little self-conscious, but he was hoping that the glint in Chan's eye was awe and not second-hand embarrassment. Had he talked too much, again?

Chan's mind kept replaying the line 'the sun gave me this tiny little galaxy to show the world,' over and over again. There was something so poetic about it. Especially since Felix had nearly thoughtlessly spat it out while his mind raced with so many thoughts that he could only select a few to say before the next wave of them washed them away. Anyone else probably would have just found Felix's talk silly, but to Chan, it was mesmerizing.

In those few moments of silence, Chan's mouth processing his awe and Felix's stuck with the tackiness of anxiety, the younger made his split-second decision.

From where he had ended his rant, standing just before Chan, he leaned down, pressing his puckered lips to Chan's slightly parted ones.

It took Felix a few moments to figure out how to move his lips, and took Chan a few moments longer to break out of his spell, suddenly pulling back, moving his chair with him until it crashed into his desk and made him jerk.

"Felix, he gasped. "We- I- uh- We can't do this," Chan said, immediately panicking.

The younger felt his face burn. "Oh," he meekly voiced. "Right. Of course. I mean, I know I'm not all that pretty, or all that impressive, so I understand."

Chan bit his lip. "It's not that," he said, careful with his words, even if Felix wasn't as fragile as he thought. "You're just...young. And I'm not."

Felix's brows furrowed. "Yes you are," he disagreed easily. "You're not old at all, Mr. Bang."

Chan shook his head. "Yes, I am. I'm not in Uni anymore. I have a full-grown son. Isn't it awkward to even call me 'Mr. Bang?'"

Felix gulped but still shook his head immediately. "No. I like it. I like you."

"You hardly even know me, Felix. And you're young, so you have plenty of time to find someone your own age," Chan reassured.

Felix bit his lip. His head was bowed still, but Chan could guess how watery his eyes had become based on how shaky his voice was. "But no one has ever been as nice to me as you have. I should apologize, I guess. I mistook your kindness for interest."

He began to walk out backwards, head still lowered. Chan could see his hands shaking from where his fingers were twisted together in front of his hips. "I'll, uhm, go back to my dorm now. I'm terribly sorry. I won't bother you ever again. I swear."

Chan held his hands out and frantically protested, "Felix, no." He cleared his throat. "You're plenty interesting, so don't ever doubt yourself. Just- you're Jeongin's best friend. Aren't you worried this would ruin your relationship?"

Felix looked up for a second before his eyes darted away again, focusing on the guitar placed in the corner of the room, counting the strings over and over. He breathed in deeply and then out. "Jeongin knows," he whispered.

Chan stuttered, just fumbling and stumbling over the simplest "what?"

Still, Felix couldn't look at him. Just stared at the guitar, now counting the tuning knobs. Top to bottom. Over. Bottom to top. Over. "I told him. A while ago. He didn't really care that I had a crush on you. Just thought it was a bit funny."

Chan gaped. He didn't even know how to react. All he could do was just dumbly repeat, "he knows?"

Felix nodded.

"And he didn't care?"

Again, Felix nodded.

"And you actually have a crush on me?"

Even with the blush now spreading across his face, Felix nodded.

"And you would still kiss me again if you could?"

Felix looked up, eyes wide and lashes wet. "Can I?"

Chan bit his cheek, flipping his answer over in his mind, scrutinizing it from each and every direction before just giving in. He nodded once.

And then Felix was right back to him, leaning over Chan's chair and hurriedly pressing their lips together.

This time, Chan was aware, and chose to move his lips back.

He tasted sweetness on Felix, maybe a strawberry chapstick, or just the natural taste of such a gentle being. He'd never kissed someone quite like Felix, so Chan couldn't deny that he thought maybe that was just the addictive taste of someone with such a pretty personality.

No matter the source of the taste, Chan let himself indulge in it.

He let his tongue glide over Felix's bottom lip, not trying to force his way in, simply capturing as much of the taste as he could.

Felix, though, found it an action to comply with, parting his lips wide, halting his movements so Chan could slip his tongue between his teeth.

Though Chan had not meant to request it, he still gladly took the invite, running his tongue over the tops of Felix's rigid bottom teeth before entering further, his tongue pushing against Felix's.

Felix began to respond again, his own tongue beginning to move, flicking against Chan's as he struggled to satisfy his desire.

Chan seemed to sense this though, hands reaching out, finding purchase on the ledges of Felix's hips.

Felix's fingers dove for his hair, raking through it like a predator through a field, looking for the exact spot that would make his prey known.

He found his prey at the nape of Chan's neck, within the final curls. When he'd pulled on them, Chan had moaned into his mouth. It was slight; hesitant. But when Felix pulled again, Chan's grip on his hips tightened and he began to suck more fervently on Felix's bottom lip.

By the time Felix could feel his lips beginning to bruise, he decided to end their kiss. He extracted himself from Chan- the fingers tugging at his hair, the tongue ravelled as one with the other.  
Chan's fingers dug into his skin, trying to keep him there; pull him back in.

Felix just smiled as he sunk to his knees, feeling Chan's hands trail up his sides until they were slipping under his arms.

"May I?" Felix asked, fingers drifting over the expanse of Chan's thighs.

All Chan could do was nod.

So then Felix's hand was reaching, first for the waistband, then inside his sweats, and finally within his drawls, grasping onto his cock and leading it into the cold air.

Chan sucked in his breath, holding it as Felix dipped his head down, lips pursing to greet the tip.

And then Felix was opening his mouth, taking Chan's length inch by inch.

He stopped about half way, mouth already full enough that his cheeks puffed out.

But then he sucked them in, and Chan could have sworn that he felt Heaven.

He hadn't expected Felix to have much experience, always so shy, so hesitant to get close to others. But Felix moved his tongue just the opposite, unafraid of intimacy, swirling around Chan's cock like he'd known the shape of it forever.

Chan couldn't help the fingers that curled in Felix's hair, the other hand bracing himself on the armrest of his chair. If he didn't squeeze the hard plastic until his fingertips turned white, he may have bucked his hips without control.

He had the feeling Felix wouldn't have minded though. The younger continuously took him deep, throat spasming around the tip before he pulled back and let air pass through his nose in careful huffs. In those moments, he used his tongue- rather than his jaw and cheeks- focusing on lapping wherever he could twist it, the muscle cramping in futile protest.

When Chan's pants of breath began to grow more shaky, Felix let his tongue rest, instead bobbing his head a few more times before he pulled off Chan's cock with a wet pop, saliva still connecting them. Quickly, he replaced his mouth with his hand, wrapping it around his cock, but not moving it. 

"Don't come yet," Felix warned. "We're not done."

Chan groaned, but focused on calming his heart rate and relaxing the crashing waves in his stomach. "How do you want it?"

Felix's pointer finger unfurled from around Chan's length, swiping gently over the tip.

Chan flinched with the sudden pleasure. If Felix didn't want him to come so soon, this was not the route to go.

"On the bed," Felix easily replied, leaning down to press a kiss to Chan's skin just above where the waistband of his boxers strained against open legs.

Chan allowed Felix to help him up once the younger had stood. 

Then, Felix's hand was slipping into his, pulling, guiding him towards the bed. He followed easily, steps thoughtless as he stared at the boy in front of him. He hadn't quite noticed the muscles Felix had until now. Before, he'd just noticed how slim his frame was. But now, he could see the muscles beneath, his strength another secret delicacy.

Felix squeezed his hand once, drawing his thoughts back to the present. When he could see Chan's eyes focused again, he let go.

His hands then wandered to the hem of his shirt, fingertips bunching into the fabric as he began to raise it over his head.

Chan began to step out of his own pants, the hint quite clear, but he did so without looking, his attention entirely focused on Felix, and how beautiful he looked once he'd pulled his head from the collar of the shirt, hair now mussed to go with his reddened lips.

Felix smiled at him, wide enough that Chan noticed the freckles on his cheeks move, as if they were making way for Felix’s dazzling white teeth to appear from behind his lips. His eyes crinkled just slightly too, the bags under them becoming more prominent as his eyelashes brushed against them.

As he dropped his shirt, his head dropped too, focusing on untying his pajama pants so they could slip easily off his legs. 

Chan waited, patiently, simply looking on as more and more of Felix’s skin was revealed. While Felix did have a noteworthy tan marking his upper body, his legs were pure, untouched by the sun. Chan wanted to be the first to touch them.

When Felix had stepped out of them, still shyly hiding behind his boxers, hands also cupped at his front, he asked, “how do you want me?”

Chan leaned forward, pressing one last kiss to Felix’s parted lips, feeling his warm breath flood his mouth. Then he pulled back, swiping his tongue across his lips to collect the flavor. “On your stomach,” he answered.

Felix climbed onto the bed on his knees, shuffling to the middle before lying himself flat, arms crossed with his head resting on them.

Unswerving, Chan followed, a hand pressed into the mattress so he could swing one leg over Felix’s body, leaving Felix’s thighs beneath his own.

In this position, he could resist the itch in his hands any longer. He let them wander, first starting at the pale legs he desired to touch, hands running along the goosebumps that had bloomed there. Then, they traveled up Felix’s sides, making the boy flinch when Chan’s fingertips ran along the side of his belly, right where he was ticklish.

Chan let his hands stop at the blades of Felix’s shoulders, which had been tense under his touch, muscles working to not just keep his head up, but also to stay still as he desperately restrained himself from flipping onto his back so he could return the touches to the older man.

He felt Chan take his hands from his shoulders, pressing them onto the mattress beside them, the heat of his forearms occasionally brushing against Felix’s skin, warming him until he was sure his body was flushed head to toe.

Chan widened his legs, lowering himself until he could press kisses to the base of Felix’s neck, keeping the touch of his lips feather-light, wary of the consequences of leaving hickeys, as much as he wanted to.

He let his lips move freely, inching down Felix’s shoulders and onto his back in a trail built by astute tenderness. Chan loved the way Felix’s back involuntarily arched towards him when he pressed a wet kiss to the top of his spine.

Responding to Felix’s reactions, Chan continued to press kisses down his spine, all the way to the base, where he finally allowed himself to dig his incisors in, planting a few small red indents that would surely bloom into a lovely blue mark by the next day.

As he turned his head to the side, already working on the second hickey, Felix moaned, hips shifting on the bed. “Please,” he begged without purpose.

Chan abandoned his work, sitting back onto his knees. “Please what?” He asked, running his fingers over the marks he’d just left, waiting for Felix to decide what he wanted.

Felix kept it simple. “More. Please.”

Chan hummed. “Yeah? Is it okay if I pull these off then?” He tugged on the fabric of Felix’s boxers, letting it snap back against his skin with a hushed rustle.

Felix groaned, muttering a “yes,” as he lifted his hips.

Chan grabbed onto the waistband again, dragging it down Felix’s smooth legs until they were finally off.

Now with more of a canvas to work with, Chan returned to nipping Felix’s skin, daring to continue his trail of markings further.

By the time he reached the backs of Felix’s thighs, the other was squirming, cries leaving his mouth every few moments. When Chan dug his teeth in even deeper, Felix stuttered through a groan. “Stop playing,” he begged. “I need it. Need you.”

Chan lifted his head, sitting back on his heels and asking, “you sure?” while he ran his fingers over the blooming hickeys.

Felix knew it was another tease, so he sighed while confirming, “positive.”

The older man laughed lightly before finally giving in, climbing off the bed to find the lube and condoms he’d stashed in his junk drawer long ago.

By the time he returned to the bed, Chan had already uncapped the bottle, letting some of the lube drizzle onto his fingers.

He climbed back to his spot hovering over Felix, letting some of the liquid drip from his fingers onto Felix’s goosebump-clad skin. He liked watching Felix shiver.

“Stop playing,” Felix begged again.

Chan reached down to thumb at Felix’s rim, stopping the drool from coating his lips as he watched Felix’s hole flutter with want. “How badly do you want this?”

Felix groaned. “Badly,” he whined. “You know that.”

Chan began to press one slicked finger into Felix. “Yeah, I do,” he half-laughed, half-sighed as Felix took him easily.

It was by the time that he had begun to add in his second finger that Felix began to twist under him, reaching for a pillow to grip between his fingers and rest his head on while he breathed deeply. 

Chan took his time, pausing for many moments so Felix could just breathe before pushing in deeper. He waited until he could pull both his index and middle fingers out and sink them back in without Felix crying out to begin to distance them inside him, purposely pressing against his walls.

Felix was a mumbling mess beneath him by the third finger, all speech muffled by the pillow as Chan made quick work of re-lubing his fingers so he could drive them into Felix, already working him up to a quicker pace.

It was then that Felix grew impatient, turning his head so he could be heard. “That’s good enough. Please; hurry.”

Chan pushed his fingers in all the way, letting them still there, are far inside Felix as they could reach. “You sure?” He asked.

Felix nodded against the pillows. “Absolutely. Need you. Now.”

Chan didn’t need to be told any more than that. He slipped his fingers out of Felix, reaching for the condom he’d discarded on the bed beside them, fingers slipping on the foil a few times before finally managing to tear it.

He rolled the condom on maybe the fastest he ever had in his life, and was quick to press his tip to Felix’s hole.

Before he began to push in, Chan grabbed both of Felix’s hips, holding him still. Then he started slowly, stopping each time Felix groaned under his breath. 

It had been quite a while since Chan had slept with someone and he was eager to please his first partner in so long. Especially when the partner was sweet Felix, who was responding to each shift of his hips with a soft moan that Chan wished he could use as the backing track of every single one of his songs.

When Chan was buried to the hilt, he stopped, letting Felix adjust. Skin was pressed to skin, perspiration seeming to glue them together, before Chan began pulling back, prompted by Felix’s wiggles of impatience.

He didn’t try to set any speed, instead taking his time to fuck deeply into Felix, wanting to feel him as he clenched around him and shook.

Felix liked this pace for a while, head back onto his arms, moans echoing around the walls they made before bouncing out and into Chan’s ears, reverberating around his head with the sweetest tone. Chan swore that Felix’s voice was far more pleasant than any melody he’d ever heard before.

But Felix, overcome with the euphoria of Chan holding him like he’d never let go with his hips pushing against his so sure, became greedy. He needed more than the affection he’d already been promised; he wanted it all.

He told Chan just that. Between moans, Felix managed to prompt, “Mm, give me your all. I want it. Everything.”

Chan’s hips stuttered and Felix smiled against his arm.

Instead of voicing his response in anything more than a low groan, Chan began to move his hips faster, slipping out of Felix only to immediately shove back in, jolting Felix on the bed sheets.

Felix’s dick rubbed against them, trapped between his stomach and the mattress. There was a small part of the feeling that burned, but mostly, it felt good. Felt really good.

So he did all he knew how to: he begged Chan for more.

“Oh God,” Felix cried. “Harder.”

He could only shed more tears when Chan did as asked, hips snapping to meet Felix’s wriggling, pushing inside him deep enough that Felix knew he’d be delightfully sore for days.

Chan placed his hand on the wall above Felix’s head, the heel of his palm digging into the dry-wall, threatening to push through. The other hand was splayed on Felix’s back, endlessly moving up and down his spine. One second, he’d have his fingers sifting through Felix’s hair- which was just as soft as his skin- and the next, after Felix had clenched around his cock, he’d reach for his hip, wrapping his fingers so tightly around Felix’s waist that he was sure Felix would have vivid bruises the next day.

Felix’s face was buried in the pillows, his screams muffled to moans and squeaks as Chan drove into him, thrusting in until hip met hip and he was forced to pull out and do it all over again.

“Ugh,” Felix moaned, turning his head. “Please, Mr. Bang, please.”

Chan’s hips faltered, cock twitching where it was tucked into Felix. “Yeah? You close?” He asked through labored breaths. Gasping for air was all he could do to choke down his own moans.

“So close,” Felix promised. “Just a little more. Come inside me, Mr. Bang. Please.”

Chan, that time, couldn’t resist a low groan. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “You’re going to be the death of me, Felix.”

Felix heard him, a smile passing over his lips. “You’re not allowed to die until I come,” he demanded before his smile left his lips, the pink of his mouth brightening as he bit at them, holding back a shriek as Chan started to thrust again.

“Oh, God,” Felix sobbed. “Please, please, please.”

Chan took his hand off the wall, slowing his thrusting so he could reach down, grabbing onto Felix’s waist and pulling him up, waiting for Felix to get the hint and shakily lift onto his hands. Then Chan wrapped his arms around Felix’s chest, pulling them flush together.

At this angle, he was able to kiss Felix, which was really not much more than an exchange of spit. But it had Felix pressing impossibly further against him, melting under his touch; falling pliant for the fingers pinching at his rosy nipples.

Chan began to move his hips again, keeping his thrusts shallow as he focused on reaching a hand down to wrap it around Felix’s length, tugging and twisting.

And if Felix thought that his dick rubbing against the sheets with every thrust was Heaven, this had to be Hell. It was too good that it made him feel like it was a sin to feel so much pleasure.

He let Chan know this much too. Felix leaned back, head on Chan’s shoulder, and feverishly kissed him through his moans.

Chan sped up, seeming to chase his high just as Felix began to tip over the edge of his.

He could feel it on a particularly jolting thrust, how Felix clenched around him and his breathing halted as his dick jerked while spurts of come began to coat Chan’s fingers.

Chan has already begun to pull out, but Felix quickly raised his head and said, “keep going. I told you that I wanted you to come inside me. Do it.”

With those words of courage, it didn’t take Chan much more until he halted his hips, focusing on the warmth of Felix around him as he came, eyes closed and teeth grit shut.

Then he slipped out as carefully as he could, eyeing Felix’s hole as it fluttered, now empty, with lube smeared messily upon his skin.

Chan let Felix down back onto the pillows slowly before dipping over him, pressing kisses to each of the fingerprint-bruises he’d embedded.

Felix hummed. “Feels nice.”

Chan kissed his way back up Felix’s spine, just as he’d done before. But this time, when he reached the top, he hooked a finger under Felix’s chin and turned his head so he could place a gentle kiss to his swollen lips.

Felix let his body turn, inviting Chan to lie next to him while they deepened the kiss, Felix’s fingers wrapped around Chan’s wrist while Chan’s hands cupped his face.

When Chan pulled away, afraid of Felix’s lips being cut open any more than they already were, he pressed a final kiss near Felix’s eye, over the largest freckle that adorned his face.

Felix curled further into him, practically purring in content. “Can we just lay for a little? Everyone always just wants to fuck and move on. Makes me feel sad.”

Chan ran his fingers up Felix’s bare arm, eyes focused on a cluster of freckles that seemed to connect his arm to his shoulder. “Sure.” He didn’t like the image that suddenly popped into his head, of Felix looking so plainly gorgeous for others to see and them abandoning him in his after-glow. Which Chan certainly was astounded by. Felix had a compelling post-sex visual, hair tousled from contact with the pillows, tanned skin shining, lashes fluttering as his eyes began to slip shut. Chan wanted to lean in just a breath closer and kiss his eyelids.

Instead, he forced himself to look at the ceiling, rethinking his decisions. Was this going to ruin the life he and Jeongin had built? He prayed that it wouldn’t- he told himself it wouldn’t, but guilt began to seep into his gut, making him want to throw-up and rip his hair out.

If Felix could feel the way his muscles hardened, he didn’t say anything of it. He just nestled his head into the junction of Chan’s neck and shoulder and closed his eyes.

Chan turned his head, letting his chin rest in the mop of Felix’s blonde hair.

He was trying to will away the tears that suddenly sprung to his eyes, threatening to dampen his flushed cheeks. 

And then he heard the oven alarm in the kitchen- meant to remind him to turn off the griddle (he was always forgetting to)- go off, violently interrupting the moment of silence.

Chan swore and lept from the bed, hopping back into his underwear and pajama pants that had been abandoned by the desk. “Ah, shit,” he swore. “I forgot I set that.”

Felix giggled. “Yeah, sorry about the whole distraction.” Then he did a little wave when Chan glanced at him. “Go save the neighborhood from your loud kitchen. I’ll take a shower.”

Chan didn’t reply, just rushed out to make sure his alarm wouldn’t wake the neighbors.

He was silently cursing the now-silent oven when Jeongin shuffled into the kitchen from his room, hair ruffled and a yawn stretching his face. “What’s up with the alarm?” He asked, speech still tainted with a tired slur.

“I set a timer for the pancakes is all,” Chan explained. “There were plenty of good ones in this batch, at least. They’re on the table. You can dig in when you’re ready.”

He could see Jeongin nodding from the corner of his eye. “Okay. I think I’ll wait for Felix to eat though. Pretty sure I just heard the shower running.”

Chan nodded, quickly making his gaze focus on their fence outside the window. There was a stripe of wood that was darker than the rest, an unnecessary detail that Chan was suddenly obsessed with.

“Sure,” he said, still staring. He left his brain on autopilot, hands resuming their sudden task of scrubbing at the greased griddle with the back of a sponge, within the limits of their porcelain sink. The griddle didn’t even fit.

Jeongin sighed. “You know, Felix talks so much in his sleep. Last night, he just kept saying all this stuff that didn’t make sense and I couldn’t sleep with him talking. I had to put my headphones in eventually.” He shook his head. “He said something about the stars and then something about our classmate Changbin that just sounded like gibberish. Can’t say I know enough English to fully understand him though.”

Chan quickly gave up on the griddle and went to the fridge, pulling out a container of orange juice and setting it out on the table in front of Jeongin. His son’s words gave him some assurance. At least he hadn’t heard anything with his headphones in. Chan knew for a fact that they were noise-canceling (he’d spent many-a-nights calling Jeongin for dinner without response) and that Jeongin had enough songs to last nearly a week of non-stop playing.

But who was this Changbin? Someone Felix liked? Or someone who’d had sex with him just to rush off after, not noticing that Felix was the type to need a few moments of non-sexual attention? Either way, it made his blood boil.

Chan twisted his lips, a sour taste in his mouth.

He grabbed a glass from the cupboard, setting it down in front of Jeongin. Chan tried to ask, “is Changbin your guys’ friend?” in a conversational way and definitely not in the snoopy way he really meant it.

Jeongin hummed, uncapping the orange juice. “I mean, I guess so. Felix had a massive crush on him at the start of the semester, so we hung out with him a bit, but I think Felix is into someone else now. He hasn’t told me which student though.”

Probably because it wasn't a student. Probably because it was Chan. He bit his lip.

“Just give him some time. I’m sure you’ll know soon enough,” Chan reassured. He would love for his son to never know, but he knew that the guilt raging in his stomach would tear him to pieces sooner than that.

Chan swallowed down the thick feeling in his throat. “What about you?” He asked, a smile already tugging at the corners of his lips. “Got a ‘massive crush’ on anyone?”

Jeongin scoffed. “God, no,” he said, looking at his cup while pouring his orange juice. Then he set the container down, looking up to Chan as he capped it again. “I just don’t think I’m interested in dating yet.”

Chan nodded. “That’s okay, bud. You have the rest of your life to figure love out. It’ll take that long too. Just focus on school for now, like you’ve been doing.”

Jeongin laughed for just a moment. “Sounds good,” he agreed. Then he cleared his throat. “Thanks, dad. For the advice and for the pancakes and stuff.”

Chan simply reached across the table and ruffled his hair.

By the time they’d layed out another glass of orange juice and a few plates at the table, Felix was returning to them. He had changed his clothes, now in an oversized sweater and jeans, his socks a pastel color that seemed so fitting to him.

Chan kept wondering if the clothes he’d peeled off of him were still lying around his room.

Felix smiled widely at Jeongin and waved, practically shouting, “good morning!”

Jeongin flinched, followed by an annoyed sigh. “Yeah, yeah, good morning to you too. Hurry up and sit. I’m starving and Dad’s pancakes are the best.”

Felix giggled but still walked around the table, fingers discreetly running over Chan’s leg as he passed him. Then he pulled a chair beside Jeongin and threw himself in it, already reaching for a plate.

They ate in silence, each grabbing a pancake (Jeongin’s plain, Felix’s smothered in syrup) and digging their way through with forks.

After a few moments, Chan joined them, focused more on his mug of too-strongly-brewed coffee than food.

And even though they weren’t talking, Chan felt the peace he always did when he spent time with his son, who had been his reason to live for so long. Surprisingly, he felt it even with Felix in the room, who Chan knew was eying his muscles each time he lifted his heavy mug to his lips.

This feeling, for the first time, scared Chan. He didn’t know what it meant. He didn’t know how he would fit Felix into their little home- or even if he could- with this new role. He just knew he wanted to.

But there was a long way to go. And the first step was to tell Felix to stop eye-fucking him at the table in front of his son.

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to upload this two months ago for my one year anniversary with Stray Kids. But Summertime Sadness is real and now, after like three months, I'm finally ready to let this piece go. I'm not extremely proud of it, but I don't think it's terrible. I really, sincerely hope you guys enjoyed.


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